


Itch

by RoseyWinter



Series: A Side of Sanders Shots [12]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Dissociation, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Morality | Patton Sanders, implied self harm tendencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27207766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyWinter/pseuds/RoseyWinter
Summary: Patton is having a hard time with their body. Janus helps bring them back to themself.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: A Side of Sanders Shots [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984643
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Itch

It started before they even woke up.

Patton's chest felt gross. The entirety of their skin did to be honest. It was hot, so they were sweaty under the blankets, grimacing as they peeled their back from the sheet sitting up. Squeezing their eyes shut and taking a few deep breaths they decided it was time for a shower.

Today was going to be very long.

After avoiding the mirror for the entire time spent in the bathroom they dressed in their work uniform. It was too hot for a binder and they knew they'd be moving around a lot so constriction was a no go. Unfortunately their shirt was fairly form fitting but there wasn't really much to be done about it. It was only eight hours. Sighing, Patton threw on the shirt and khakis before going down to the kitchen to start up the coffee for themself and Janus. The thought of food made their stomach twist painfully so a few more snacks were shoved in their lunchbox in case they got their appetite back later in the day.

\-------

The day was in fact, very long. They did not in fact, gain their appetite back. At the end of the day they felt more like throwing up than risking sating a nonexistent hunger.

Walking down the sidewalk, every car that passed was another whisper that made them sure they were being stared at. Their hips felt too wide, making them consciously straighten their gait so as not to sway them so much. They had their jacket around their waist just in case but it was too hot and they got sick last time they wore it for too long so they settled for crossing their arms over their burning chest that felt too tight. Every customers eyes burnt holes in their skin making them itch frantically when no one was looking. Liquid fire ran through their veins as anxiety pooled in their stomach. Every minute felt like an hour and they couldn't wait to get home.

They entered a silent house, Janus not due home for another couple of hours and they sighed unhappily. All Patton really wanted was a cuddle and to sleep but it would be a while before that could happen. Their skin still itched uncomfortably and everything hurt in the worst way. Their head buzzed as they made their way to the kitchen, feet barely seeming to touch the floor as they moved making them wonder idly if they were floating. The hand still itching their arm felt numb, detached. It buzzed along with the beat in their head and suddenly they couldn't scratch because it wasn't their own hand anymore.

Their panic was quickly dispersed with a shrug as they resolved to cut up some vegetables for a salad, grabbing out the cutting board and washing cucumbers. Grabbing the knife gave them pause, skin still burning and buzzing and wrong wrong wrong

\-------

Janus stepped through the door and threw his bag down with a sigh. He was very glad the day was over; if he never had to count out another stack of twenties again he'd be eternally grateful.

The kitchen light was on which made him smile. He could imagine Patton bustling around the kitchen, smiling and swaying to whatever was playing on the radio as they exchanged stories about their day, often ranting or smiling exapseratingly over shared customer experiences.

As he walked to the kitchen however he didn't hear music at all, didn't smell anything cooking which in itself wasn't a big deal, they could be having something that didn't require cooking but that didn't explain the lack of movement in the room.

Fully entering the kitchen revealed Patton, standing stock still with their eyes glued to the knife in their hand, their other on a cucumber they were evidently going to cut but now sat forgotten.

"Sweetheart?" Gently stepping over he leaned forward slightly to look at their face, startling to find it covered in tears with no reaction from the other. "Patton?"

Slowly he reached forward and laid a careful hand on the blade, sliding it out of the hand and setting it aside. Patton blinked and turned a dazed gaze to him, confusion marring their features.

"You're home early?"

Janju shook his head. "Late actually. It's six o'clock love. Are you alright?"

Furrowing their brow Patton shook their head. "I was just standing here?"

"You were." Janus confirmed, worry carefully swept away from his voice in favor of trying to keep the calm atmosphere.

"My skin feels wrong." Patton mumbled quietly.

"You're skin...oh. Oh Patton, come here."

Carefully taking both of their hands he gently massaged the knuckles, squeezing every now and again as he exaggerated his breathing. Nodding to himself he pulled gently and stepped back, leading them through the house to the bedroom and sitting them on the bed.

"I'm getting a cloth okay? I'll be right back." Recieving a low hum in response he turns and entered the bathroom, running the tap ice cold. Returning with the soft damp cloth he gently began to rub Patton's cheeks, smiling as they leaned into it. Taking one of their hands again he resumed rubbing their knuckles.

"Shut your eyes love."

Patton's eyes immediately shut and he sighed into the ministrations, which Janus hoped meant they were coming back to themselves. Cold was grounding for both of them and he was happy it seemed to be working.

With the cloth beginning to warm Janus pulled it away slowly. Peering into their opening eyes he smiled softly.

"Feeling better?"

Patton's eyes filled with tears again as they made sudden grabby hands for him. Janus pulled them slowly into a hug, making sure that they could move away at any point if they felt like it was too much. Instead they melted, a wet spot spreading on the shoulder they had buried their face in as Janus rocked them slightly, crooning gently in their ear.

"How does getting you into some nice baggy clothes sound? And then we'll order your favorite pizza and sit in front of the air conditioner and have a movie night. What do you think?"

Patton only nodded, a small sob escaping their mouth as they clung tighter to their boyfriend. Janus smiled slightly before ducking down and catching the backs of their knees with his forearm, literally sweeping them off their feet and against their chest. Patton giggled brokedly and leaned up to kiss his cheek, making his grin even wider.

"Dork." They whispered.

"Only with you."

Later, curled up beside him with their arms wrapped around his middle Janus smiled again while watching the gentle rise and fall of their shoulders as they slept. He could only hope that tomorrow would be a better day for them.


End file.
